The ties that bind | The Indian Express

Last week, the Telangana Assembly passed the Employees Accountability and Monitoring of Parental Support Bill 2026, under which senior citizens neglected by their children can file an application before the District Collector. It was introduced noting that “dependent parents are an inseparable part of the Indian family system and it is therefore felt expedient to provide for an enforceable morality, and to ensure every employee leads as a role model in society.” A complainant can state their reasons for seeking apportionment of their child’s income and the DC must dispose of the matter within 60 days. In the same vein, there was a more nuanced response to a case in Allahabad recently where the High Court has ruled that a moral responsibility cannot be treated as a legal duty. The HC had dismissed a plea filed by an elderly couple seeking maintenance from their daughter-in-law after the death of their son.

The romanticised notion of the noble elderly, frail and bereft, is touching, indeed; while the callous adult children, out for themselves, is a cultural trope. It’s also a profoundly reductive view of the complexities within human relationships. There’s a thought that the Telangana government feels compelled to righteously police familial bonds purely for selfish motives: when the young abandon the old, it’s a huge problem for the state. Threatening people into caring paints a sorry picture of the reality of family dynamics in India. Alas, just like you can’t hurry (romantic) love, neither can you enforce (filial) duty; this is no solution to save the forsaken. Besides, a mandatory diktat to honour thy parents’ disregards the data that everyone doesn’t experience their mothers as nurturing, or grow up believing that parental affection is unconditional. Assigning blame, or as is the case with the Telangana government, inflicting a financial penalty on adults for not meeting their “moral” obligations, seems to be a questionable overreach.

A marriage breaking up or siblings fighting doesn’t shock anyone. The parent/child bond is the only one expected to endure for a lifetime which is perhaps why we see it as shattering, or shameful, when it frays. Interestingly, in the West, the parents are cast as the villains; alienation has become a weapon wielded by adult children to punish them for the wounds they’ve carried around for decades. The truth is, it’s far easier to break off contact than to have a difficult conversation. To some extent, that’s how we all deal with the unpleasant people in our personal and professional lives — anticipating the negative effect of communication, a shut down often seems the better option. Except, a parent isn’t a mere friend or colleague. Even if a brutal severance is necessary, an explanation, not abrupt silence, is the least the most intimate of bonds deserves.

In the East, it’s the young adults who bear the brunt of judgment when families fracture. Though it certainly seems that these estrangements are more common than they used to be, there’s simply more conversation about it thanks to Reddit and Instagram. A Brooklyn Beckham or Angelina Jolie cutting off ties with a parent is analysed ad nauseam online, emboldening others to share their stories. Now, cutting out a “toxic” family member, far from being the last option, is hailed as a radically brave act, for discarding role expectations and prioritising one’s own feelings first. Thanks to social media, one can be fooled into believing that we have large networks to keep loneliness at bay. But generally, the truly precious relationships are only a handful. An old school friend or a sibling is invaluable because they’re the only ones who know exactly where you come from. The extraordinary influence of parents in our initial years, good or bad, shapes our personalities. Rejecting them is rejecting a part of ourselves.

The writer is director, Hutkay Films