5 min readMay 18, 2026 04:01 PM IST
First published on: May 18, 2026 at 03:59 PM IST
By K M Manorama
Although neither of my parents attended school, they raised my siblings and me to appreciate the freedom that education provides. I am the youngest of four children in a farming family in Bulandshahr. My parents persevered a lot to educate us. So when I told them that I wanted a government job, especially in the railways, in 2018, they were supportive in their own way.
I decided to appear for the Railway Recruitment Board Group D examination. You have to realise, even paying Rs 500 for coaching every month was a big deal for us. I was in college then, and I would attend coaching classes right after. Thankfully, my brother, who has done his Master’s in science, was also a teacher in the same coaching centre, so things were a little easier for me. But since both my parents would be busy tending to the farm and my sisters were married, I would have to come back home and cook dinner too. I would barely snatch a few hours of sleep in between.
But all this didn’t seem that big of a deal then, probably because I was naive and thought that I was just steps away from fulfilling my dream. I wrote the examination and was fairly confident of clearing it, but I was wrong. That year, videos of mass cheating went viral on social media, and CBI investigations were ordered. My dreams were shattered. I didn’t know how to grieve this loss. My parents asked me to move on. I then concentrated on completing my Master’s and started appearing for other competitive examinations on the side. This time, I couldn’t afford coaching classes, so I would collaborate with other students for studies.
In families like ours, girls are lucky to get one shot at their dreams. I had already been given that privilege. But I did not want to give up. My brother, who was a teacher in a school by then, told me I was free to pursue my dreams but not to expect any monetary help from him. Forms cost money, and we don’t have the luxury of wasting money like this. I don’t blame them. By 2024, I thought I had found my calling. I felt I was meant to be a police constable. I spent months preparing for it, and my examination went really well. But the government cancelled the Constable Recruitment Examination due to an organised question paper leak that year. It affected over 48 lakh aspirants like me. I felt so angry that day, but I didn’t know where to direct my anger. By then, my family was done with my obsession. I was in my mid-twenties, and most of my peers were married off by then. My parents were convinced that I was wasting my time.
Meanwhile, a friend who was in a similar situation suggested an escape: she said we should move out and start supporting ourselves so that we could pursue our dreams without feeling guilty about being a burden to our families. She was moving to Bikaner to work in a nanny centre and suggested I come with her. The job was suitable for us because it is respectable and the hours are fixed. This meant we would get time to prepare for examinations.
But the idea of moving out didn’t sit well with my parents initially. Such a thing was unheard of in my family. Both my sisters were married off after college. Here I was, an unmarried girl, moving to a different city. But my mind was made, and they reluctantly agreed. I moved to Bikaner in 2025, and after a year, I moved to Noida because the money was better here. And there are also better coaching centres here. I recently wrote the UP Home Guard examination and am awaiting the results.
Today, when the whole country is up in arms about the NEET paper leak and cancellation, I have one question for the authorities. Do they really take into account the struggles of candidates like us? A leak and a cancellation are not just a news report for us; it is like losing a chance at a better, more livable life.
The writer is an aspirant of various government competitive examinations and is working as a nanny in Noida to support herself
